Closure

Closure

I've always heard that word,

I thought I knew what it meant...the end of a matter.

Something we long for,

the promise that there will be an end to the nightmare......

Today I am numb.. We got the verdict and the jury recommended the death sentence.

What should I feel? Relief? I do feel like justice was served but closure no.

I feel sick inside that there should ever be this trial, I feel sick for my beautiful friend.

She should not have suffered so, she should be here living, loving, serving.

I'm so sorry, so sad and so angry at the injustice of it all.

Cheryl, I never knew I would be able to google your name and see your picture everywhere.

Everyone is talking about you, and I'm left empty.

It's been three years now of all these emotions,

Fear, hope, the desperation of searching for you? Praying and walking through fields and woods calling your name.

holding poor buddy, he bit me he was so scared :(

Hugging Jake and making sure he ate something and seeing the tears in his eyes so much like yours.

Trying to hold the girls together and answer the questions of why? I still don't understand.

I wonder what you would say. You always had an answer for everything.

You have left your mark on us all. Your legacy lives on I see it everyday in my girls, in so many.

Today I remember you, strong, loving, tenacious, pure, holy and determined, so black and white and fun and funny

And helpful.

So who do I call now when the girls have a fever or need stitches :) or prayer and counsel? They always listened to you.
You were always there for us all, how many ice baths did you give Hannah? you held her hand through stitches because I couldn't stomach it.. I remember you taking my blood sugar every day for a month and monitoring what I ate. I was a terrible patient but you we were a saint.

You once jumped into a pool fully clothed after Ashton and you walked Amber through a medical nightmare.
You were the one who led Hannah to Jesus and you prayed, taught, loved and laughed with them all. They still adore you. They can't eat cookie dough without remembering you now. We loved you , we shared our life with you and now we are not sure how to deal with losing you.

I will never forget the weekend that changed our lives forever and bonded us together. Three girls on a road trip to Pensacola in the old white Sopchoppy First Baptist Van. Hoping that the stories we had heard were true and God was moving in a real revival. We were so hungry but a bit skepical. Standing in line all day, sharing our life stories and praying. Fighting for a seat, we ended up in the balcony and as soon as the first note was hit on the keyboard we were crying and holding each other’s hands so tightly. Hanging on to every word we ran to the alter and ended up on the floor all night. We were never the same again. I have no idea how many trips we shared. The next weekend we took Jake and the girls. You fought your way to the front and made sure each of them received prayer. Our lives changed forever.

I'll never forget our praise parties, poppyseed chicken dinners and sleepovers, long talks, bible studies and all night prayer meetings. Every time we all got together, we'd find you in the girls bedroom getting a makeover or laughing and playing with them. No one has ever impacted them or valued them more than you did. You gave your weekends to slumber parties and your Wednesday nights to teaching them and you were there always there to pray or counsel them or just celebrate life with them.

We miss you; our hearts are broken in losing you!

Your memorial was beautiful and your legacy was loudly proclaimed...
We had a huge dinner to celebrate you and yes there was poppyseed chicken!
After it was over Tanya, Cindy W. and I walked down to your resting place and had our last girls night out.. We laughed, we cried, we grieved and remembered and we said goodbye but not forever.

See you soon friend.